


Unhappy Refrain

by NoBrandHero



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Doomed Timelines, Hopeful Ending, Land of Heat and Clockwork, M/M, SBURB, Sadstuck, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-07
Updated: 2014-08-07
Packaged: 2018-02-12 05:37:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2097636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoBrandHero/pseuds/NoBrandHero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The goal was to stop time traveling. When Karkat dies pointlessly, Dave reconsiders his stance. Maybe it's all right to abuse his Aspect, just one more time, one more time, one more time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unhappy Refrain

"You're seriously not time traveling anymore?" Karkat says, shooting you a suspicious glance.

"Nope." You resist the urge to sigh. "I gotta explain this to everybody one by one now? You sure we can't just open one of your bullshit memos and blast that message until even Lord English hears the news that Dave Strider is dropping his time traveling mantle?"

You're back on LOHAC at Rose's bidding, heading for your denizen's palace as if that's remotely a good idea. With all the extra chaos in this Alpha Session (seriously, you thought Jack Noir was gonna be priority #1, and yet), finishing your quest seems downright mundane, but you need any advantages you can get.

At least your best bro's tagging along to give you company. Nothing makes a boring mission more tolerable than sticking next to the one guy who can match your spiels. 'sides, it starts to feel weird when you split up for too long, after spending three years just a jog down the hallway from chilling together for hours on end. (Okay, maybe you weren't that cool with each other for that first year, but you got there and now shit's pretty sweet.)

Karkat scowls. "It just seems like a bad idea to abandon your Aspect like that."

"Yeah, maybe. Lemme know how that Knight of Blood thing is going for you."

He growls. "Fuck off, I'm not even God Tier. Do you know how pointless Blood powers are when you're stuck on the normal escheladder? I can't so much as-"

You catch something out of the corner of your eye and sidestep just in time to avoid getting impaled by a thrown spear. It plunges deep into the ground next to you, the shaft wobbling from the impact. In the distance, a now-unarmed skeleton makes an "aw, nuts" gesture. The little bastards migrated to LOHAC from one of the Alpha Session's planets somehow and have been minor nuisances ever since.

"Shit!" You grab your sword from your specibus, but the skeleton's already making a hasty retreat. No point chasing it, but you keep your sword out in case of other unexpected enemies.

Karkat glances back at the spear as you continue towards the palace. "Isn't that exactly the sort of shit we could avoid if you went back to your time looping?"

"Man, do you know how complicated that crap is? I'm out of practice anyway."

He shrugs as you step over the threshold. The palace isn't very palace-y, really, when its aesthetic still matches the metal and fire motief of the planet. "Right, I forgot that you're lazy."

You facepalm with your free hand. "You want me aging faster than everyone? It's gonna be way fun to be Grandpa Strider while you whippersnappers take on Lord English. I'll just be using my sword as a cane."

He sighs. "Strider, we've been friends how many sweeps and you're still not willing to be straight with me about this shit? You know I won't make fun of you if it's something serious?"

"Dude, I just don't-" You turn a corridor and feel the floor shift beneath your feet. You don't even have the chance to call out that you've walked into a trap before the hall flares up in a fire so strong that you barely feel the pain before you die.

You don't stay dead, of course. Getting caught in an obvious trap may be shortsighted, but it isn't heroic or just by any definition and you're floating into the air, good as new, within minutes.

Karkat's not so lucky. Your breath catches when you give your surroundings a scan only to find him curled on the ground, covered in burns. He's not moving.

You drop to your knees. "No, no, no, dude, c'mon, not here, this is the most fucking pointless death you could have." You catch his shoulder and get no response. "Vantas, c'mon, please, you can't fucking do this."

You can't lose him here. You've never been so certain of anything in your life, but you can't fucking lose him, not after all the shit you've been through together. You can't have failed to protect the only person you've been able to lean on for the last year. An unfamiliar emotion is creeping over you; it makes your chest ache and you hate it already.

You rack your brain for ways to bring him back, some obscure Sburb rule you'd just stuck in the back of your mind for later. He's out of extra lives, even with a Life player around. There's only one possible solution you can think of and it needs a willing Time player.

You hesitate, but it's this or he's gone. He's just fucking gone and he didn't even get a meaningful death and you didn't get to so much as say good-bye.

With shaking hands, you equip your timetables and then you're outside the denizen's palace again, still on your knees. You're struck with deja vu as you hear Karkat say, "It just seems like a bad idea to abandon your Aspect like that."

You get to your feet. "Hey!"

They both freeze in place, turning their heads to stare at you. "Dude," the alpha Dave says, "could you have worse timing? I'm trying to make a point to Vantas here."

"The number of fucks I give about our reputation are in the negative, bro," you say. "Keep your goddamn guard up. The lair's booby-trapped."

The alpha Dave gives you the most unimpressed look either of you can muster. "You broke our No Time Travel rule for _that_?"

You'd quip right back, except you forgot about the skeleton from before and that he's probably behind you and, hey, check it. There's a spear sticking out of your chest now.

"Jesus fuck!" Alpha Dave's words echo in your ears as you fall forward.

Everything goes dark and your senses dull. Somewhere you hear... no, you _feel_ the chime of an old clock. When you open your eyes again, you're in the dream bubbles.

Guess dooming yourself to save someone counts as Heroic now.

* * *

Yep, three years later and watching yourself die never gets old. Or less disturbing. This time you even have an audience and Karkat lets out a horrified gasp.

You sigh and keep moving. "Now you get why I'm done with the time travel. Unlike that fucker."

"Isn't he going to revive?" Karkat glances over his shoulder at the other Dave's corpse.

"Nope. Not how doomed Daves work, dude. He's gone for good."

Karkat shudders as you step into the denizen's palace.

You take every turn with caution, throwing shit out of your sylladex sometimes as bait to set off traps while you wait in safety. Wow, there are some doozies in here. You wonder which one set your doomed self off so bad that he thought it was worth dying to warn you of this crap.

It doesn't take much guesswork to tell when you reach the bottom of the lair, what with the giant, fiery snake-like creature waiting for you in the final room. You knew it would be a big fucker, but this is a hugeass monster right here.

Your denizen stares down at you. "You are very late, Knight of Time. I am Hephaestus. What do you at last seek from me?" he asks, his voice deep and reverberating and far too formal for your tastes.

"Great, another giant monster I don't understand," Karkat mutters.

You keep a tight grip on your swordhilt. "Yo, we heard you could maybe fix some extra Quest Crypt things to get our troll friends God Tiered. That true?"

The denizen slowly nods. "It comes at a price, Knight. You will make the Choice and we shall see if it's a price you're willing to pay."

You shrug. "Bring it. I'm so loaded that Bill Gates comes to me for loans."

Hephaestus lets out a deep, irritated growl. "If you wish me to provide the means for your friends to live, you first must die."

You're shocked silent for a moment, trying to digest the implications of that. "Okay, apparently we're not on the same track here. See, the goal is for _none_ of us to die, ya dig?"

"What's he saying?" Karkat hisses at you.

You wave him off.

"That is your choice, Knight?" Hephaestus says.

"My choice is to take a third option."

The denizen lets out a long huff and you can practically feel the disappointment seething off of him. "Very well," is all he says before he dives at you.

Even at God Tier, the fucker's fast. You dodge one way while Karkat dodges the other and debris sprays into the air as Hephaestus slams into the floor.

"What the fuck did you do?" Karkat screams at you.

You're expecting Hephaestus to lunge for you again, but instead he swats at Karkat with his redwood trunk-sized tail. Karkat slams against the wall with a wince-inducing crunch.

You try to fly to him before he can fall but Hephaestus keeps blocking your way. By the time you outmaneuver the giant snake, Karkat's facefirst on the floor, unmoving.

Your heart stops. You shoot for him anyway, praying (to who, exactly?) that he's just knocked out, that the worst he suffers are some broken bones, that he'll shove you away and swear at you for wasting your time looking after him instead of keeping your concentration on the giant monster trying to kill you.

Karkat's limp when you lift him. You can't find a pulse, or a breath. Hephaestus is still growling as he straightens and glowers down at you, but for some reason he isn't attacking. Maybe he's giving you a moment to mourn because your best friend is dead and it's your damn fault.

What the hell is wrong with you? How could you even hesitate to agree to that Choice? Yeah, you didn't think the results would be that goddamn immediate, but you're still a selfish fucking dickhole for not giving the consequences two seconds of thought.

You don't want to die -- fuck, you don't even want to think about it -- but it's better you than him, isn't it? You told Hephaestus otherwise because you're a goddamn coward, but you're more certain than ever that you'd die a thousand times rather than lose Karkat. (When did he start meaning this much to you anyway? Would you think this way if one of your other friends died like this?)

You take out your timetables and still refuse to think about what it means as you use them.

You hear Hephaestus's voice, back to its intimidating but neutral tone. "If you wish me to provide the means for your friends to live, you first must die."

"He'll do it!" You don't mean to shout, but there it is. "Whatever he says, he'll fucking do it anyway, okay? We agree to this bullshit!"

Hephaestus's head turns to study you while the other two gawk. "You're willing to die?"

You climb to your feet. "Fuck yes, we are."

"Excuse me?" the alpha Dave says to you, but he's cut short as Hephaestus raises himself up to full height and strikes at you.

You could dodge, you could try to fight it a little, but what's the point? You're doomed. If he doesn't do it, a falling rock will. You close your eyes and are relieved when Hephaestus at least gives you the mercy of an instantaneous death.

* * *

Karkat grabs your sleeve as if on instinct, clinging tight as he stares wide-eyed at your doomed self's crushed corpse.

Jesus Christ. If that's what a doomed Dave voluntarily went through just to change your decision, you're not sure you want to see what the alternative is. Funny that it's called "The Choice," if you apparently don't have any goddamn choice at all.

Hephaestus raises himself back up to his full height before returning his gaze to you. "He made his Choice, Knight. Is yours the same?"

"Guess so," you mutter and try not to visibly brace for the inevitable final blow.

Hephaestus doesn't attack you, however. He just nods with a small, proud smile. "Go back to the surface. I shall fashion your new Quest Crypts and deliver them when they're needed."

Wait, it was a goddamn feint? Seriously? Agree to die in order to live?

You hear stone shift behind you and the staircase you came from has changed form. It's now a straight shot all the way back to the top of the palace, skipping the booby-trapped dungeon you took to get here.

"What's going on?" Karkat says, his gaze snapping from the stairs to your doomed self's corpse. He's still clinging to you.

"Honestly, no clue." You pat his shoulder. "I'll tell you what I can put together on our way outta here though."

"What the fuck happened to 'no time travel'?" Karkat demands as you ascend the stairs.

You jerk a thumb over your shoulder. "Ask that dead dude. He's the jackass who went and did it when he wasn't supposed to."

Karkat shudders. "Something bad happened, didn't it?"

"Yeah, probably." You shrug. "Trust me, Vantas. Don't think too hard about time travel."

You try pestering the others once you're back on the surface, but go figure, something catastrophic is going on somewhere most likely, because no one's answering you. That, or they're lazy assholes. Either or, at this point.

You wander LOHAC aimlessly, much to Karkat's distaste -- he keeps giving the lava disgusted glances. The fuck else are you supposed to do though? You gotta wait for the crypts to get made and no one's given you clearer orders yet, so you might as well show Karkat around your planet, give him the grand tour, shoot the shit as if you're not both tense from recent invents involving too much death... If you find the time, it might be cool to show him what's left of your apartment later.

You should've guessed whatever's holding the others up would go for you next eventually. Karkat notices first, going tense and raising his gaze. You mimic him.

Oh fuckin' hell, seriously? A mass of red vine-like things is swirling in the air above, diving for the planet like a volley of arrows. Really long arrows that are more like deadly ropes. _So that's what the Red Miles look like from below,_ is the only thought you have time to form before one shoots straight through your chest.

"Dave!" Karkat reaches for you, but another strikes him soon after.

You both collapse, your blood pooling together. His eyes are wide and you almost wish your shades were off so he could know you're meeting his gaze. Yeah, man, you're right here with him, don't even question it. You're going down together.

The ground trembles and you hear Hephaestus's voice boom in the distance, "It is ready."

You raise your head and manage to crawl enough to turn around and see Hephaestus rising out of his palace. He's so damn far away though and doesn't look intent on making any special deliveries clear out here in the boonies.

You can't make it. Your vision is swimming and you can barely move as it is. There's no way you're carrying Karkat all the way over there.

You slump over and stop breathing.

By the time you revive, the Red Miles have retreated and Karkat's pulse is already gone. Your gut twists and you refuse to acknowledge that something's stinging at the corners of your eyes. That's not fucking fair; you were close, so _damn close_ , and he's dead anyway.

You scoop him into your arms. Maybe there's still time, maybe it hasn't set in yet, maybe you can save him after all. You fly to where Hephaestus is waiting, along with twelve new Quest Bed-looking slabs -- one per each Aspect.

You lay Karkat on the crypt marked for Blood and wait.

Nothing happens.

You're too late. You were too slow and ran out of time. You really don't live up to your Aspect, do you?

You run your hand against the side of his face. Your chest aches at the thought you'll never hear his loudass voice again, never stay up late together shooting the shit in a dual fit of insomnia, never tell him how much you appreciated every moment with him even if you spent too much time provoking each other.

"This is it, isn't it?" you say, your voice shaking. "This is where I hold up my end of the deal."

"Yes, Knight of Time," Hephaestus says and you'd almost swear that booming voice is trying to be _soothing_ right now. "This is where you finish your Choice."

You nod and back away from the Quest Crypt. You equip your timetables, hesitant to actually touch them. "Will he be okay this time?"

"Yes."

You swallow. "All right then." You run your fingers along the timetables and feel time rush around you.

There's no point going back before the Miles attacked. You can't dodge those, clearly, and what's the point of going back if you're just going to be too injured to help him again? You'll only be forcing this timeline's Dave to make the same sacrifice you're trying to make.

You hear your past self's -- the alpha's -- pained groan as he hits the ground. You ignore him and shoot off just in time to catch Karkat as he falls. Once more the planet trembles under Hephaestus's influence and you're already flying to meet him.

Karkat shifts in your grip, raising his head. "Dave?" he says weakly.

"Sup, Vantas," you say, trying so damn hard to sound cool and not give away how scared you are.

You're almost there when the second round of Red Miles strikes. You try to dodge -- you're so damn close, _so goddamn close now_ \-- but one snakes its way straight through your chest.

You choke and nearly drop Karkat. You have to keep going; you're dying either way, you knew that before you set off, so it doesn't matter how much it hurts. You have to reach that Quest Crypt. Your balance and speed both suffer, but you keep going.

If another round of Red Miles cuts you off now, you're utterly fucked, but the lines of red are retreating. You dare a glance up and see a flash of blue. John's doing something up there. You're not sure what it is, but he looks okay and he's holding the Miles off. Right now, that's all the help you need.

You don't have the strength to lay Karkat out neatly. You drop him against the Quest Crypt and collapse afterwards, landing on your knees beside it while your torso is left sprawled against the cold stone. Your blood drips off the edges, mixing with Karkat's.

His hand slips over your arm and grips it. If you had any energy left, you think you'd give up any pretense of coolness and cling to his hand. It's just as well you don't. You don't think you could stand to feel his hand go limp as he dies.

You close your eyes. You'll probably be gone before he can God Tier. You want to know he's okay, but you have your denizen's word... so...

The Quest Crypt glows and you crack your eyes open as Karkat's body lifts into the air. It's too bright to see anything, but you don't look away.

When the light gives, Karkat's alive again. He's wearing the same goofy ensemble you are, except his is in shades of brown. He stares at himself with wide eyes before floating down to the ground next to you.

"Lookin' pretty sweet there, Vantas," you say, voice strained.

He slides an arm around your shoulders and pulls you close. "You fucking jackass, you're just going to die again, aren't you?"

"Yeah, 'fraid so." You manage a smirk. "Worth it."

"You're so fucking wrong, Strider." His voice shakes. "As usual."

You want to pat his back or stroke his face or something but you can't move your arm. "Man, don't fuss. Your Dave's still around."

"I don't give a shit!" he shouts. "I mean, I do give a shit, but I still don't want _you_ to die either!"

You lean in close against him and he leans back in return. He must sense what you want, what you'd do if you just had more energy, because he bridges the gap and kisses you. It's probably your weakest kiss ever and you feel sorry for him for having to endure your pathetic attempts at kissing back, but for you it couldn't be more perfect.

Afterwards he pulls you into his lap and holds you against his chest. You lean against the warmth, listening to the beat of his heart. You close your eyes and never open them again.

* * *

You reach Karkat just as he starts crying. There's a dead version of yourself nestled in his arms, bleeding all over his new God Tier jammies.

"Hey," you say softly and rest a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, man. That guy... He's just a copy, okay? Doomed Daves are a dime a dozen." That's what you've tried convincing yourself for years anyway. Maybe he can believe it.

Karkat looks up at you with a tear-streaked face. "Is that how you fucking justify it to yourself? There are a bunch of them and they all die anyway, so who fucking cares that he was you less than five minutes ago?"

You slide to your knees beside him. "This late in the game, bastard knew what he was doing." You tap the Blood symbol on Karkat's chest. "Think he got what he was trying for."

Karkat nods and stands up enough to carefully lay the doomed Dave on the Quest Crypt as if it's a coffin. He slips back down beside you immediately after. "I died in his timeline, didn't I?"

"Could be."

He leans against your shoulder. "I died in all those timelines these doomed Daves came from."

You swallow. You'd suspected that, but like a lot of things, you didn't want to think about it. "Probably."

He slides his hand over the back of yours. "Dave."

"Yeah?" You turn towards him and he meets you with a kiss.

You're almost too startled to kiss back. You weren't aware you wanted this, but it's here and now you just want to cling to it for dear life. You wrap your arms around his back.

You're not out of danger yet. There's still a million ways this game can find to kill you even as an immortal, but at least Karkat has a fighting chance now -- the other trolls too, once they make it over here to the new Quest Crypts.

He ends the kiss and rests his forehead against your chest. "Never time travel again."

"Yeah." You rest your hand on his shoulder blade, just basking in the rise and fall of his breath. You suspect he's doing similar with you. "Cycle of dead Daves ends here."

**Author's Note:**

> And that was my proposed entry for HSWC Main Round 2: Cycles. I wrote most of it at three in the morning on painkiller while listening to hyper robot music. (I might have titled it after the Wowaka album I had playing on loop.)
> 
> The team decided against using this, so instead it gets a home on AO3 now that the anonymity period is over for teams who didn't make it to final vote. If you're curious, [this](http://hswc2014-r2.dreamwidth.org/686.html) is the entry the team went with.


End file.
